-Walking Together-
Absolute essentials...
When you decide to engage the assistance of a Deathwalker/Doula, there are certain non-negotiables that you should expect, regardless of where you are on your path or what your personal path looks like.
Confidentiality
Respect
Compassion
Open Mind and Open Heart
Trust
Reliability
Your Goals, Culture, Beliefs, and Curiosities Should Lead the Journey. There should be no effort to convince you or recruit you into a certain way of thinking. This is about your life and your goals.
Those are items you should establish as minimum expectations, whether working with me or someone else.
So, how does it work?
It all starts with a conversation...and sometimes, that's all it ever is. A Deathwalker/Doula isn't going to do the work for you; they can't. This journey is about you figuring out and organizing your thoughts on end-of-life, dying and death. A lot of people are simply looking for ideas to start. As a matter of course, I recommend everyone take a moment and review my "Self-Directed" page. That will give you some idea as to what areas you already have a grip on, and what areas you might be looking for a compassionate companion to explore with. Once you are ready to commit to putting some effort into this journey, it is time to reach out and ask for help.
Introductions...It's time to say "Hello!"
The first time we speak, my goal will be to figure out where you are at on your journey, so that I can meet you at that place. This meeting place is figurative. To be any help at all, I first need to understand what you are dealing with, where you are looking to take this, and where you think I fit in.
Are you thinking for your own path?
Is this just about planning ahead?
Do you have reason to believe you are at your end-of-life?
In what capacity/role do you see a Deathwalker/Doula helping you?
Are you trying to guide someone else, and looking for someone to bounce ideas off of, or even a shoulder to lean on?
Are you a caretaker for someone at their end-of-life, and looking for ways to make the most of your involvement?
Are you looking for one-on-one help, or a presentation to a community?
How long does this take?
Sometimes this takes 20 minutes, and sometimes we might be walking together for a long time. I know...there are a whole lot of unknowns in this. It really depends whether your goal is to have some suggestions to go explore yourself, or whether you are looking for help organizing everything from advance directives through sitting vigil at your (or someone else's) bedside. Are you looking for help organizing a legacy project (something to leave behind), or do you just need a confidant to explore your beliefs and concerns?
These are all things we'll start to figure out in our very first conversation together.